7 Habits of highly effective people

One of my well-wishers gifted this book, about seven years back. This was one of the most boring books, I have ever read. This book was written by Mr. Stephen covey in his sixties, targeting the audience belonging to 30s & 40s. Many examples cited in this book are about family and children, exactly converse to my life style then - a hardcore bachelor. At every page, I had to spend atleast 15 to 20 minutes to understand and analyze what's written and how's that related to my life. All the seven habits, this book is speaking about, is given in the contents page itself, that too in plain English. Then, why should I read this book from page to page. They don’t even sound great. I thought most of the habits listed in the contents were already with me. And rest of them I can practice anytime. Actually I haven't read the book till recently.

Oh!!, I had greatly misunderstood about this book.

This book does have the seven great secrets, (hidden in that esoteric literature). These are sure-shot means to success. I'm not speaking about hard work, honesty, patience etc here; - these are much simpler than those. Few time tested tactics. Honestly speaking, I felt a feeling similar to that of reaching the 15th floor by lift, while everybody else is walking up through the stairs. But merely reading a list of these secrets or getting it known from somebody is not going to help. You got to understand, analyze, and inculcate those secrets in your lifestyle, which eventually let you reap the fruits.

Ok, if that is so, everybody who have succeeded in life, must have had those habits?? Actually, I don’t know.

But I know, - “Whoever had these habits, had definitely succeeded in life.”


Best of luck (to read the book, hope u don’t take so many years).

The Making of my son

I bought the first pack of KS condom, after 3 days of marriage. We carried out all kind of sexual experimentations, (referring books and internet). Our regular routine in the evening is to go for a long walk around the boothnath market, chatting, flirting and sharing each other about our pre-marriage life. We discussed about school days, friends, crushes, tastes, errands, cinema, sexual know-hows and the achievements. She was going through her first ever winter at North India. The jackets, woolens etc, etc are making her cozy as well as lazy. When she appears in the early morning fog, she looks even more beautiful, with her libs shaking in chill. We used to relish the Sundays. After having a brief breakfast around 9, our rounds of making love start (generally 5 times at different places). We used to have the lunch (An one by two clear soup, Keema parata and chicken masala) at Indranagar Royal café. The hazratganj visit after the afternoon nap completes the day. Occasionally she used to give an annoying look when I stare at other girls. She had developed a bit of complex on the fair and pinkish complexion of lucknow girls. My wife is a kind of fair on the medium side (the colour of the skin of actor priyanka chopra. Oh, she resembles her by physic also.)


On the republic day, we visited the bulbulaiah (the gigantic maze) of Bada Imambara. As I have already visited the place many times, I knew the cheat code. But it was compulsory to take a tourist guide for a couple. I really regret to miss an opportunity to show her, how I solve the maze and also to spend 150 bugs on the guide even after knowing in and out of the maze. We end the day with dinner (Parata, seekh kabab and tandoor chicken) in Naushijaan. My wife confessed that, this was the best food, she ever had.
She had not been that innocent as she looks like. She narrated the escapade to the nearby theater from school. She had signed her dad’s in Progress report. The girls’ hostel code words were really amusing. The bizarre nick names for their teachers and the gully boys who sneak around. We had a great time together enjoying each other’s company.
We were in a flow - flirting with each other. A time came, that I committed the major blunder, may be of my life. I disclosed about the relationship with my girlfriend. She had been smiling all along and gave her views too. But after two days, she showed her first signs of retaliation. She had read all the SMS in my cellphone (though I’ve deleted most of them), and started asking intriguing questions about her. I perceived a cocktail of absolute possessiveness, insane suspicion, and a sense of being decieved from her behavior, though, not candid.
A few days later, I don’t know why,… my x-girlfriend called up once. Incidentally, my wife was just on my side and noted the call. I briefly answered “I’m fine, how r u, fine. Will speak later” and closed the call. This is enough for my wife to kindle a big fight. The romance between us took a big turn. The clash lasted for a week, characterized and influenced by a brief interruption by her mom on phone. After lot of assurances from my side, the issue subsided.

After a month or so, my wife insisted to have a baby. I asked her to be patient for atleast 6 more months. Let’s enjoy this (couple) life for some more time before getting into a family. She started pestering without giving any proper logic. Later I realized that the base is her mother. Her mother had known that we are using condom and had propelled her daughter to stop using condoms. (Her perception is such : a baby boy would bring peace, love and harmony in the family, resisting the split of the couple, atleast for 3 to 4 years. Then, get another baby. Beyond that it’s ethics for the family to remain in peace and harmony.) I still resisted.

For everybody’s great surprise, my wife promptly got pregnant. She didn’t get the periods. OH!!!!!!!!!! , The first three days without condoms had already been working against my plans. I resolved myself and started caring my pregnant wife. But somehow, the pregnancy did not last. She had miscarriage. The three month old dead baby boy was taken out from her body and disposed. Both me and my wife were a bit traumatized of the condition, but not for long. We got to know that miscarriage in first pregnancy is not uncommon.

After the incident, I promptly started using the condom from the first day. I got the doctor’s view in my favour. She had asked us to defer the next child atleast for three months, so that, my wife can regain the health and have the capacity to hold the next child. It was really difficult to keep her mom shut for 3 months. Fourth month, condoms stopped, my wife is pregnant again. It’s a real wonder. Many people in this world crimp about child, while we are getting a baby, the moment we stopped using condoms.

This time we were literally careful. I practiced celibacy for the health of my child. I read pregnancy related books and child care. I gave the best of food, fruits and the best of comfort to my wife. My wife and her family were really pleased by the way, I took care of them. I myself had wondered about the recent developments in my sense of responsibility.

Meanwhile, I was transferred from the plant to R&D. Though Kolkata is a busy metropolitan, we were not used to the city then. We enquired and landed up in BCD hospital for the regular checkup with gynecologist. It was 7 months, and my wife typically looks like a cute doll. The doctor came up with another breath taking report. He reported ‘placenta previa’. (The placenta is the feeding tube joining the navel of child and mother). In this particular case, the placenta had occupied the exit point for the child. This will cause rapture of the tube, when the child is moving towards exit, resulting in death of either the mother or the child, if the case is not attended within 4 hours of rapture. The safer option is to operate and take the child out before the rapture of the tube, and keep the child in artificial incubation. That too, can be done only after eight and half months of pregnancy.

The doctor also denied any kind of travel either by train or air, which may aggravate the issue. This was completely against our plans. We had decided to have the delivery at home town amidst her well-wishers who speaking mother tongue. That’s our tradition too.

Kolkata had very few hospitals that have the incubation facility. The best one is bhagirathi hospital at Park street. However, I could not reserve there, as that will take one hour to reach from my home in normal times. A traffic jam or a rain can kill either my wife or child on the way. The nearest one was woodlands – 20 minutes from my flat. As I checked out the tariff, they were really expensive. I got to give 5 months of my salary for booking the incubation setup for 2 months, another one month salary for the operation and may be another one month salary for the miscellaneous expenses. But I had no choice.

I took my wife to woodlands, for the local doctor to check and recommend for the booking. Thankfully, a tamilian gynecologist Mrs. Rajalakshmi addressed my wife. This has lessoned most of the worries. (Because, it was very likely that the nurse or doctor might tell something in Hindi, or Bengali during the operation for which my wife doesn’t know ABCD and may result in some other disaster.) The doctor assessed situation and recommended for booking. She also told us to come and meet her every 15 days from there on. I reserved the bed for 3000 bugs in the hospital. In another couple of meetings, the doctor reported some distinct improvement in pregnancy and also said that she can be carried through a flight to Chennai, providing arrangement in a hospital very near to airport, in case of emergency. She gave a certificate and we landed smoothly through spicejet.

The plan is to meet my parents in Thiruvannamalai (4 hrs from Chennai) and have a brief function (valaikappu) and head on to madurai (her home town, 10 hrs from chennai) through a hired land cruiser. The function was grand. Many of mine and her relatives have dropped in. One of them was my dearest friend (he is also my cousin) Pems. Pems is the short name, I have kept for him. I used to admire him for his rich practical experience yet a completely composed person. At 27, he had started and closed two businesses – one in computers sales and training, another in borewell. He is an electrical engineer by education, but knows and does all sorts of projects. He has surprised us many times in making expert models (engineering). He is one of those rare real life heroes, who have saved two children from drowning at a time. Every time, I learn something from him, he reaches to another level. He is also a gadget freak. You can see his room filled with lots of gadgets, some may be required only when we land on moon. Unlike me, he is an introvert. He has very few friends and I’m one of them. The only bad thing I can think of him is that : ‘ He hate books. He seldom reads. It was a marathon effort for him to get his degree after 8 or 10 arrears. He believes only on practical understanding. ’

I was glad to see him after a long time in the function. We chatted for almost the whole day sharing our experiences. My wife somehow does not like the closeness between us. I don’t know why. Shouldn’t I have a good friend after marriage? She had and even now, tries to pin point some or other problems with him. She even had candidly complained that he is a selfish person. Once, her mother also has behaved the same way. I have dismissed them all, because our 20 years old friendship is beyond perceptions. From the age 6 or 7, we know each other very well.

After the function, everybody started to leave. My plan is to return back to kolkata from there. My wife along with her mom and dad will set on to Madurai in the landcruiser. While Pems was about to leave, I stopped him and suggested to go along with my wife (as his place is very close to Madurai). My wife was furious about this move. She even called me alone and demanded to let Pems go separately. I overruled. (I don’t know why, may be because I’ve already told Pems.)
As I reached Kolkata safely, I came to know that, their travel to madurai was not easy. In the midnight, in the mid way, the driver fell sick. He was continuously vomiting and couldn’t drive anymore. My mother-in-law has confessed that they were really frightened by the darkness and the condition of the driver. Her dad does not know how to drive. Then What next? Pems had taken the charge. He has parked the driver on the back, and drove the vehicle for 6 hours from there. My mother in law also has confessed that If Pems had not been there, they would have been in a deep trouble. She even suggested giving a gift in gold for his timely help in return. Though I readily accepted for the idea, you know what was running on my mind.

A fortnight later, I got a phone call, that I’ve become a father for the first time ever. I reached madurai, through the next flight to see the infant still under making. Closed eyes, tiny limbs, pinkish white skin softer than the softest thing in the world, he fitted well when I joined both the fists of mine and took him over. He greeted me with a smile without opening eyes. My thoughts were hovering on the fact that, “a baby boy is born out of me (Ok, my semen) and it’s a new beginning for the world to watch. – A wonder of wonders”

My wife still proudly claims, “He is a perfect Indian - conceived in Lucknow, cared in kolkata, born in Madurai, and being grown in Mumbai.”